I have to be strong. I’m okay. I have to convince myself that I’m okay or else I’ll fall. I need to be numb for now. I can’t fall apart.
Since this no communucation thing started, I’ve been stuffing my self with food and then i’ll feel guilty for eating more than what I can take. Then I’ll feel bad and then sad again. It’s a vicious cycle. I just feel lost and pathetic. Food makes me happy for awhile, then I’ll feel awfully guilty.
I need to block off all emotions. There’s only so much this girl can take. I gotta love myself more…easier said than done. I’m doing all sorts of artsy things to divert my attention. It feels like I’m going to snap any moment now.